how to get over a breakup

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Let’s be honest, figuring out ‘how to get over a breakup’ is hard but not impossible. No one likes to go through a heart reckoning and mentally taxing break up. All demons of our lives have always been uninvited. Heartaches and all doom and gloom plunge into our lives and it tends to scrub all the happiness from it. Mere grief of loss can withdraw all the merriment from your life. The pain of losing someone you hold very close to your heart can be devastating. It won’t let you embrace happiness for several months. You need to get over this pain and explore certain ways before it takes a toll on your mental and physical health.


Whether it was your decision or the other person’s, ending a relationship with someone you planned your future with is gut-wrenching. But you need to end things if they are not satisfying and comforting. We all lose our parts somewhere in this world but still manage to make through life. Sometimes chaos is important to bring back order in our lives. You can cope up with the loss and heal your broken heart by adopting these tips listed below on ‘How to get over a breakup’ but before that let us answer your question, ‘How long does it take to get over a breakup?’

How long does it take to get over a breakup

At this point in your life, you are sure to go through various painful emotions, feeling
angry and sad at the same time. Numerous questions will cross your mind like, ‘Do you ever really get over a breakup’ or ‘will this post-breakup pain ever subside or nor?’ Trust me you will get through this only if you are willing to put in some effort. The exact timeline to heal from heartbreak is different for everyone. However several pieces of research carried in this regard prove that broken hearts start healing around three months after a breakup. It means that you will start feeling significantly better around this time if you adopt certain coping skills. It takes even longer to heal from a marital split.

Having said that, it does mean that you should cling to a fixed timeline to start feeling better. The sooner you get over your ex and move on, the better it is before you lose a sense of self. Ending a relationship means going through an ugly and messy process. It has no definite time frame. It is like going through grief after a loss. Thereby, you need to take your time and act practically to eventually heal from a breakup.

How to get over a breakup fast | 10 Tips to heal a broken heart

 1- Loss is inevitable, it’s okay to let them go to get over a breakup

Relationships are not meant to be perfect all the time. You have to suffer at moments to keep your love tie intact. Adjustments and compromises are necessary factors that help you flourish your relationship. Relationships are meant to be balanced. It is a give and takes bond. But if you are only giving in the relationship without getting anything in return then it will drain all the energy from you. If this relationship is toxic and you are tired of begging and imploring them just for the sake of their presence in your life then, believe me, it is not going to work. Keep your dignity and self-esteem intact. You have already had enough.

Now is the time to rebuild your sense of worth and work on yourself. Learning the art of letting go will even help you get over an ex you still love.

Getting out of a toxic relationship.

You can not choose if you get hurt in this world or not, but you get to choose the people hurting you. And if you give the same person authority to hurt you over and over then you need to understand; the real meaning and propose of a relationship. Learning how to get yourself out of a toxic relationship is in truth a great deal because all the memories you have had with one person who you thought was your soul mate, are going to haunt you for a longer period. However, you need to put yourself first at any cost to get over a breakup.

2- Take a trip down the memory lane if the one you love leaves you

There are chances that the other person leaves you ruthlessly and you feel stranded and devastated. Your heart shatters into a million pieces. You feel suicidal and there’s not even a single ray of hope you could find but believe me, it will get better. People ask questions like, ‘How to get over a breakup when you still love them’.  The truth is if you keep remembering all the happy times spent with them you will continue to hurt yourself. As much as your mind might be fond of reminiscing the happy moments, think about the times you felt incomplete even with them being by your side.

Think about all the times your happiness was ruined just because of the petty issues created by your partner. Write down all of their annoying habits and the compromises you had to make if it helps. Keep the picture real and let them go. Don’t beseech them to stay for longer. Just remember;

IF IT’S REAL, IT WILL NEVER BE OVER.

Just that Smile and Move on.

3- Treat yourself with love because self- love comes first.

I have seen people becoming atrocious and anxious when it comes to dealing with human loss. They find themselves in a pitch dark excavation of self-denial and cannot get rid of the constant feeling of not letting go. They mourn and lament over the same loss time and again.

Self-love can be fulfilling as well.

I have witnessed persons who give every ounce of their love to their loved ones but hate themselves in private. They believe in the fact that the love they hold in their heart is meant to be spent on their loved ones, not on them. They are unaware of the capacity of their heart that it can hold the universe. The love they are trying to get from others is within them but they are blind to it. All I want to say is, take some time out for yourself. Treat yourself with little gifts and be self-sufficient. Your heart can unwind all the shackles and cosmos when it will get self-love. Self-love and self-care are so fulfilling and rewarding. Imagine, you don’t need anyone to give you flowers because you can give yourself one.

4- Stop thinking about giving them a second chance even when you still love them.

Breakup hurts but what’s gone is gone, know your self-worth and understand the fact that it’s okay to not be okay all the time. We all deserve chances because we all make mistakes. But giving gazillion chances to the one we love despite not seeing an ounce of change or regret in them is foolish. Make yourself a priority first before giving anyone else that special place. It someone leaves you stranded without any reason you should not give them a second chance. If someone makes you question your self-worth, they do not deserve a second chance.

The more you are inclined towards forgiving, the more they are becoming comfortable in treating you like shit. So do yourself a favor by moving on. Cut all the connections with them and No! you do not need to be friends with them even.

5- Give yourself chances not them, it’s all within you.

Take my word for it, if you are going to give them second chance time and again then doubtlessly you are living in a fool’s paradise. They don’t deserve your attention and affection. Much of your pain is self-chosen, the tranquility you have been craving since they left is never going to be attained by the ones who hurt you and left you. This sense of satisfaction is never going to come from the person who made you feel inferior. You need to stop searching for happiness elsewhere. It’s all within you. You are your solace and your grace. To stop hurting after a breakup you need to understand that what’s real never goes. You are everything! And just with little effort, you can get over a breakup.

6- Let yourself feel numb to all the feelings and know that it takes time to move on.

There come moments in life when you can’t stop thinking about the ones who hurt you but you still hold feelings for them in your core. You still get goosebumps when you hear their name. The adrenaline in your veins starts to run high and your heart starts to race. You still care about them and are always curious to know every single detail of their life. Even though you have embraced their absence but are still in a love-hate relationship with them. You care about them, you want them to be happy and you want them to be a better person because somewhere you still love them.

Ideally speaking it is what benevolence and compassion are but to get over your breakup, you have to get over your compassion for them otherwise you will never be able to stop thinking about them.

7- Find healthy ways to soothe your pain to stop hurting after a breakup.

 I often thought to myself, ‘How do I stop hurting after a breakup’. What I came to know was that it is easy to indulge in self-pity and keep thinking about your ex when you have nothing to do. You might want to take a break from work but overdoing it won’t help. Don’t be hard on yourself. Go out and find healthy ways to soothe your pain. Take a walk down the street or jog in the morning to feel better. Exercise tends to uplift our mood. Keep yourself busy by learning a new skill. It will help in distracting you form your pain and make you feel better.

If you are creative try experimenting with different forms of art. Draw, paint, sing, and write however juvenile it might seem at first. But, you’ll start enjoying it eventually. You might be amazed at the extent of talent you hold within.

8- Try not to stay alone and try to communicate, it helps.

Post-breakup there will be endless days when you spend overthinking about your past relationships. You keep reminiscing good times spent with them. Betwixt this bittersweet nostalgia, you end up longing for them and craving their presence. Not being able to talk and see them sucks. It makes you feel abandoned and eventually leads towards self-loathing. It is nothing but a sarcoma to your existence. When grief engulfs you, you oftentimes avoid human contact and out of nowhere, you start to feel social anxiety and apathy. Try to communicate about how you feel to those you truly trust and hold close to your heart. Talk to your friends, family, and even strangers to get over a breakup with someone you love.

Never cut off all the communication with your loved ones as this hurts more after a breakup. Surround yourself with supportive people. People who will give you a shoulder to cry on and still make you feel worthwhile. Communicating your vulnerabilities and fears is the key to getting over a breakup. Try not to sit alone for hours. It will help you recover soon and you will get over a breakup. 

9- Take a social media Detox

Social media is not inherently toxic but it can prove to debilitate your mental health when you are already struggling with your life. While being in a relationship you tend to share every aspect of your life with your partner. Following them on social media, having mutual friends, and even sharing your social media accounts passwords with them might seem like a love sign to you. But post-breakup you need to cut off all the ties with them. Whether it be on social media or in reality. It’s better to take a social media detox to let go of the desire to stalk them. Let your friends know that you are no longer with them and not even interested in knowing about their life.

Never ask your mutual friends about their whereabouts as this might be equal to multiplying all your efforts by zero. Be proactive to get over a breakup fast. 

10- Make plans for the future to stop overthinking and be productive

This is the best time when you should focus on yourself only. You have everything within yourself but you are unaware of them. Unleash your hidden qualities. Make plans for the future. Try writing down what you expect from a relationship and what you are willing to give. Setting your relationship goals clear will be very helpful in the future when you eventually decide to date again. Having plans for the future will be beneficial from having a rebound relationship as well. Talk to yourself. Go to different places other than those which you might have visited with your former partner. Visualize yourself 5 or 10 years from now and work towards achieving that.

Grow your skillset and be sufficient enough for yourself before depending on anyone else for your happiness.

Conclusion

We have all been through a breakup in our lives and it’s the worst feeling ever. You will go through various painful emotions every day until you start feeling better. But to feel better you need to work towards it by adopting these simple tips mentioned above. Keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time so be patient with your recovery process. A wound takes time to heal similarly when your heart shatters into a million pieces it will take time to gather those pieces. Still, If nothing works you can always turn to therapy to help you to get over a breakup fast.

Getting over a breakup is one of the keys to success in life. Here are 10 other keys to success in life.